My Honey’s name is Chan. We met around 8 months ago on September 26th, 2017, and were officially together October 1st, not long before his birthday. He is not like anybody else, and as I say this I know you’re most likely rolling your eyes into your head because everyone says that about their significant other, right? I say this because he is chronically and debilitatingly sick. Let me explain to you what he experiences every day. First and foremost, he has a headache that never goes away. Morning and night. 24 hours a day. 7 days a week. 365 days a year. Out of a 1-10 scale, it sits at a 7 most of the time but is elevated when he encounters a stimulus that his body perceives as harmful – most foods, scented lotions, candles, perfumes, smoke, any chemicals, medications, etc. Nothing works to take away the headache. No combination of pain meds. No tried and true home remedies. In addition to the headache, he suffers through debilitating fatigue, joint pain, dizziness, and neurological symptoms including brain fog, confusion, memory loss, mood swings, paranoia, and OCD. He has dealt with these symptoms since as early as age 13 (he has a hard time remembering). So in a nutshell, most of his life hasn’t been sunshine and daisies. But he still pushes through every day. He is amazing, to say the least.

Now, I would like for you to explain to me why he is one of the most gifted people I’ve ever met. He is so sharp. He thinks about everything so deeply and with such accuracy that I could never hope to achieve, and he’s got trouble thinking, mind you. He is so thoughtful and full of love. He has a charisma that will have you eating out of the palm of his hand. Explain to me why he is able to be those things and go through such misfortune at the same time. Explain to me why he still gets up out of bed every morning. I can give you the answer. It’s his strong spirit.

His spirit and perseverance are why I am who I am today. He is the reason my life is much different than it was. I used to dress in tight and revealing clothing and worry about my hair and makeup to gain attention from others. I used to eat unhealthily and I was unwilling to try new things. I was foolish with my finances, and I am still recouping from the mistakes I made, but my progress is due to him. He has helped me to see that I had no boundaries, and that was the reason I got walked all over. Because I was the one letting people walk all over me. He helped me to see that I have a victim mentality that I am still working to eliminate to this day. I will also be honest and say that I was a compulsive liar. I was just an all-around no-good, scum-of-the-earth, bad person. But I really had a problem with compulsive lying. I lied about things that were ridiculous to lie about. I lied about big things and small things. And until recently I had a hard time making the right decisions not to lie. I have lied to him countless times. I have lied to his mom, who was kind enough to open her home and share all of her belongings with me. I have done damage to him that will never completely heal. And he is the only person in this world that has acted as a catalyst for me to change. I am not saying that I have changed completely, or that I will never lie again. But I am saying that it is becoming easier for me to make the right choices no matter what the consequence. His strength has made me a better person than I was. And I am forever thankful for his guidance. To love someone after betrayal, the way he does, takes a lot of love and a tough, resilient spirit.

If you ever find someone like him, let me illustrate what life with that person will look like for you. He will:

  • Set you straight
  • Make you a better person
  • Tell you the truth without sugarcoating it
  • Be transparent
  • Be faithful
  • Continue to love you through your wrongdoings and faults
  • Be funny
  • Be sweet
  • Be charismatic
  • Be a silly goose
  • Be quick-witted
  • Be jaw-droppingly stunning
  • Have comforting arms
  • Be a great sense of comfort in general
  • Give great cuddles
  • Be mature
  • Be frugal
  • Have a smile that will put the summer sun to shame
  • Be a planner
  • Be a great communicator
  • Be giving and thoughtful
  • Be perseverant and strong-minded
  • Have excellent hygiene
  • Not mind helping you with housework
  • Be helpful
  • Be resourceful
  • Be protective
  • Be intuitive
  • Be a problem-solver
  • Be ambitious
  • Be a hard worker
  • Be a non-complainer
  • Be a good example
  • Be precious
  • Be like no other

I know that if I lost him I could never again find someone with all of his qualities. And I have nearly lost him many times due to my selfishness. I would be nowhere without him. So when you see me typing on this blog, know that right behind me is my Honey, my biggest fan and rock, helping me to get to where I am and cheering me on as I go.

Take my advice. If you ever meet such a person like the one you’ve just read about, I suggest you do everything in your power to keep that person in your life. They are of immeasurable value. I know that my Chan is.

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