A lot of people believe that lying is okay; that it is a necessary part of life. The belief that it is okay to lie in order to spare someone’s feelings is often ingrained into our minds by our parents and society. Be a people pleaser and you’ll be a good person, right? I come from people who are passive-aggressive, don’t say the truth, and sugarcoat it if they do. If the worst thing you think you can do is offend someone by telling them what they don’t want to hear, you couldn’t be more incorrect.
Transparency is the key to any healthy relationship. And I speak from experience.
Okay. Every time you want to lie to someone, consider the potential damage that could be done to the relationship using this grotesque, yet effective analogy coined by Chan:
Telling the truth is like farting (I know. Bear with me). It may be uncomfortable to smell and other people around you may react to it, but the reaction doesn’t last long, and there may not even be a reaction. It may not even smell. Lying, on the other hand, is like detonating a bomb. The bigger the lie, the bigger the bomb, and therefore a bigger explosion upon detonation. When it goes off (the lie comes out), the total destruction it creates will take a very long time to recover from. Lying creates harsh reactions, and relationships damaged by lies take a long time to heal.
I’ll break this down even further.
Telling the truth gives you:
- 50% chance of a reaction
- If there is a reaction, the reaction is not as strong as if it were from a lie
- The reaction is short-lived
- There is the possibility of no reaction
- There is no damage done to the relationship
Lying gives you:
- 100% chance of a reaction
- The reaction will be strong
- The reaction will most likely reoccur as long as someone feels hurt by the deception
- Severe damage to the relationship
- It takes a long time for the effects of the lie to subside and for healing to take place
Another point I’d like to add is that when you lie, you’re saying to that person, whether you mean to or not, that:
- They don’t deserve the truth
- They don’t mean enough to you for you to tell them the truth
With that being said, think about it. Would you rather set off a bomb or just fart? Food for thought.